We, as human beings, occupy an important position in the chain of evolution as we can emote, see, sense and think. What however makes us different from other species is our need for contact and relationships.
Relationships are very important for human beings. Relationships helps us to keep engaged, talk, create ideas, share thoughts and ideas, express and receive love and care, enjoy the beauty of nature - the list is a long one. We need people around us, people with whom we want to share. This contact and sharing gives us an experience of joy and happiness. In a way, it validates our existence. We look for acceptance of ourselves, of our pain, love and sense of existence. This is only possible with help of other human being – a relationship.
The desire for relationship is so strong, that sometimes people relate to cats, dogs or other pets and transfer all their emotions for the need for relations ships to these pets. It is not uncommon to hear about persons who talk to plants to get over their need to relate.
Despite the strong urge in humans for establishing relationships, there is a pathological side to these relationships. Relationships, at times, are cause of pain. An unhealthy relationship can often cause hurt, ridicule and shame. They become the power games with one party in the relationship finding faults, putting down the other, making the other person dependent or being at mercy of other. This results in an expression of power on one hand and powerlessness at the other. The hidden agenda in such relationships often leads to unconscious, repetitive behavior patterns between two people leaving both of them unhappy.
A lot has been written on why people play games in relationships. Psychological games often result in a high emotional charge and some attention. In such cases, the individuals prefer this negative attention to no attention at all.
True relationships result in closeness, security and growth – maturity. A good Counselling relationship creates a healthy pattern of behaviour that finally helps the client in developing sustainable and healthy human relationships.
